Rant on Love

The Kings Letter

December 25, 2023

Read the online version here.

Is there a better time of the year to think and talk about love? Probably not, so I decided to put my thoughts together in this piece getting and giving clarity along the way.

What is love and how to even start describing it? Is it friendship? Is it butterflies in the stomach? Is it sex? Is it money or energy? Perhaps everything above or maybe nothing at all? Maybe it is just an illusion in the absence of rational?

Does your day start with love? And if it does, love towards whom? Yourself, your partner, or your kids? How much love do you receive and how much love do you give? How much love is enough? Is love kind and caring or can love be possessive and obsessive?

Can you love people equally? If you can love your parents or siblings equally can you love multiple partners equally? Should love be equal at all or should it be disproportionally shared?

I wanted to know the answers to these questions and I have been thinking about them for a long time now so here is what I learned.

It appears to me that love is like a labyrinth of questions rather than a field of answers. A complex stew of emotions and experiences that we spend a lifetime to understand and unravel. It’s a kind of enigma that takes different forms when summoned and plays different roles for different people.

If life were a symphony, love would be the melody both soothing and tumultuous, making you feel safe right before it shocks you with its harmonizing twists and turns.

It is fluid, not allowing itself to be described by a single definition. Love is not a finite resource, but an infinite resource that flows when nurtured.

It is not a static entity but rather it evolves, deepens, and often falters. The measure of love is not in its quantity but in its quality, in the sincerity with which it is given and received.

For me, love is the dawn of each day. Often we forget to appreciate the luck we were given when we were brought to this world. We get annoyed by what a stranger commented on our YT video, we get angry because a spouse forgot what we spoke about yesterday or because the flowers received were not the exact kind we expected.

Wouldn’t it be nicer to appreciate the fact we received the flowers, the fact that we can communicate to one another, and the fact that we get to experience simple things as taking a breath, tasting food, feeling the cold floor under our feet, excitement when kissing someone, or joy of seeing a friend or family with every day you wake up.

Love is the warmth of a smile shared with a stranger, the gentle touch of a partner, the laughter over the phone with a brother and the unspoken understanding between old friends. Love encompasses all these fragments, yet it remains elusive when dissected.

Does your day start with love? It should, and it should start with self-love. The acknowledgment of your worth, the acceptance of flaws, and the commitment to growth. Because, as the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup. The best thing you can do for people around you is to grow yourself. Imagine what would it mean for your friends and family if you would 10x your reasoning, your communication skills, your finances, etc.

How much love do you receive, and how much do you give? The trick is to reach some sort of balance. Some days, you are the receiver, bathing in the warmth of others' affection. On other days, you are the giver, pouring your love into the lives of those who matter to you. The dance between receiving and giving is the heartbeat of love.

Is love kind and caring, or can it be possessive and obsessive? Love, in its purest form, is a gentle breeze that nurtures and supports. Yet, it can transform into a storm pretty quickly, fueled by fear and insecurity. The line between healthy devotion and possessiveness is thin, and navigating it requires self-awareness and empathy.

Can you love people equally? The heart, I've found, is a remarkable organ. It expands to accommodate the affection for parents, siblings, friends, and partners. Yet, the dynamics of love are nuanced. Loving equally doesn't mean loving in the same way. Each relationship is a unique chord in the symphony, contributing to the harmony in its distinct way.

Should love be equal, or could it be disproportionally shared? It was shown to me that love defies mathematical precision and shouldn’t be boiled down to equation. It's an organic, evolving and growing entity that adapts to the shape of relationships. The capacity is unlimited but the tank size must be upgraded regularly by opening your mind and learning about how to love. It's not about dividing love equally but about recognizing the patterns, embracing the imperfections, and finding equilibrium within the chaos.

Different people need different kinds of love and its up to us communicate ours clearly and learn to express it in a way that can be understood by our significant other.

In my long contemplation on these questions, I've learned that love is not a fixed destination but a dynamic journey. It's messy, imperfect, and sometimes confusing. Yet, it's in this complexity that the beauty of love unfolds — in its ability to grow, transform, and connect us in ways that defy explanation.

The importance lies in finding joy in the mystery that is love.

Before I wish you happy holidays I have an offer for anyone who ever wanted to learn to play the cello. For the first month of your subscription your friend or family member will get the entire month of lessons for free! It’s my way of spreading the joy of cello playing this holiday season. You can enroll here.

Happy Holidays!

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Push further,

Mislav Brajković

KingsString